The dining room is an ideal place for employee analysis.
Each time, watching people in a queue in an office cafeteria, the same thought comes to my mind: it would be nice for recruiters to throw all their newfangled tests to determine the psychotype of a candidate for work into the bin, go to the office cafeteria and just watch him.
I think that it is in relation to food that a person, in fact - an animal being, manifests himself most openly.
And meanwhile, how quickly, confidently and accurately the office clerk chooses food in the conditions of tight time and the presence of hungry colleagues who have the same trays behind him, and there is a direct correlation between the way this person behaves in his workplace.
Talkers
Do you see a group of aunts who are homosexual about salads? Those that blocked all the entrances and exits to the distribution themselves are in no hurry to fill the plates, stand with empty trays, their mouths do not close, and they wanted to spit that they prevent others from taking their portion and leaving the world to the checkout counter?
These in the same way certainly do not shut up and sitting at their desktop. Why they come to work is forgotten by them as quickly as what they came to the dining room for. Remember only with a strong request not to interfere with others to take food (with a strong demand not to interfere with others to work). But once you take food or leave the office, you forget about food and work again, and your mouths don't close.
Dying swan
Do you see that? In a skirt in black peas and glasses? Please get acquainted: this is a dying swan. Moreover, she dies constantly, but does not die.
You watch how slowly her hand reaches for the ladle, how slowly she scoops up the borscht from the pan with this ladle, and how, contrary to all the laws of physics, this borsch flows slowly from the ladle into her plate, and you sighed happily that it was your turn, but here she surprises you even more: that’s not all.
The swan’s wing with spread feathers freezes for a whole minute over a wicker with bread in a painful reflection on the problem of choosing between brown bread and white bread, respectively.
Such swans will not spill a drop of borsch past the plate, will not crumble bread on a tray, the forks with knives will lie flat and in their place, but you cannot categorically put them in the area where you need to work quickly and with hard deadlines.
Just let it fly: it will fly, with the result, but not the fact that in the spring.
Otherwise, the boss will either be forced to constantly resort to the help of birds more quickly (it’s their own fault - you don’t have to fly so fast), or grab a ladle from her and quickly pour this soup and make a decision on the color of the bread, or there will be a bunch of hunters. Someone will shoot definitely, not allowing her to fly even to the middle of the Dnieper.
Oh!
- Oh sorry! I decided to take another sandwich.
“Please,” I move, so that Redhead reaches out.
- Thanks! - darted to the checkout counter, where the cashier is waiting for her along with the entire lineup.
- Oh! - again darted from the cash register now in the direction of the table with desserts. - I forgot to take a pie.
Darted to the checkout again.
This, my friends, is a well-known type that I call it: “Oh.”
"Oh," such for any reason. Whatever they do. Everywhere a solid "oh" and cramps. The rushing intelligentsia, which cannot be determined in any way: for the reds or for the whites. You can’t even close these accounts in the accounting department to the “payment sent” button. Otherwise, “Oy” can say the whole company.
Such people need to be planted only in the area where edits can be made endlessly: to develop all kinds of regulations there and the like. Judging by the experience of our company and by the frequency of turnover of these regulations - we are just the ones who sit on their development.
Fanatic
Do you see that? In a blue shirt and blue tie? Who stared at the phone without blinking and frantically knocking out text with two thumbs?
This is a fanatic.
I looked over his shoulder several times. He even at dinner, even in the elevator, even, I think, sits in the toilet in the work mail and writes, writes, writes. Such people are considered ideal workers. They are always in the access zone.
The authorities love such. But in vain. See? He does not pay attention at all to the fact that he chooses how much he puts on his plate and that he pours the compote on the tray, since he did not notice that the glass is already full? With such, the whole line-up can move forward for a long time, and he, not knowing how to at least sometimes be distracted, may still remain standing still, immersed in his mobile phone and detaining everyone who stands behind him. And then you have to frantically pick up and catch up with those who have passed forward, simultaneously spilling out at the speed increased due to idle time everything that I have gathered on my tray. So at work.
Each time, watching people in a queue in an office cafeteria, the same thought comes to my mind: it would be nice for recruiters to throw all their newfangled tests to determine the psychotype of a candidate for work into the bin, go to the office cafeteria and just watch him.
I think that it is in relation to food that a person, in fact - an animal being, manifests himself most openly.
And meanwhile, how quickly, confidently and accurately the office clerk chooses food in the conditions of tight time and the presence of hungry colleagues who have the same trays behind him, and there is a direct correlation between the way this person behaves in his workplace.
Talkers
Do you see a group of aunts who are homosexual about salads? Those that blocked all the entrances and exits to the distribution themselves are in no hurry to fill the plates, stand with empty trays, their mouths do not close, and they wanted to spit that they prevent others from taking their portion and leaving the world to the checkout counter?
These in the same way certainly do not shut up and sitting at their desktop. Why they come to work is forgotten by them as quickly as what they came to the dining room for. Remember only with a strong request not to interfere with others to take food (with a strong demand not to interfere with others to work). But once you take food or leave the office, you forget about food and work again, and your mouths don't close.
Dying swan
Do you see that? In a skirt in black peas and glasses? Please get acquainted: this is a dying swan. Moreover, she dies constantly, but does not die.
You watch how slowly her hand reaches for the ladle, how slowly she scoops up the borscht from the pan with this ladle, and how, contrary to all the laws of physics, this borsch flows slowly from the ladle into her plate, and you sighed happily that it was your turn, but here she surprises you even more: that’s not all.
The swan’s wing with spread feathers freezes for a whole minute over a wicker with bread in a painful reflection on the problem of choosing between brown bread and white bread, respectively.
Such swans will not spill a drop of borsch past the plate, will not crumble bread on a tray, the forks with knives will lie flat and in their place, but you cannot categorically put them in the area where you need to work quickly and with hard deadlines.
Just let it fly: it will fly, with the result, but not the fact that in the spring.
Otherwise, the boss will either be forced to constantly resort to the help of birds more quickly (it’s their own fault - you don’t have to fly so fast), or grab a ladle from her and quickly pour this soup and make a decision on the color of the bread, or there will be a bunch of hunters. Someone will shoot definitely, not allowing her to fly even to the middle of the Dnieper.
Oh!
- Oh sorry! I decided to take another sandwich.
“Please,” I move, so that Redhead reaches out.
- Thanks! - darted to the checkout counter, where the cashier is waiting for her along with the entire lineup.
- Oh! - again darted from the cash register now in the direction of the table with desserts. - I forgot to take a pie.
Darted to the checkout again.
This, my friends, is a well-known type that I call it: “Oh.”
"Oh," such for any reason. Whatever they do. Everywhere a solid "oh" and cramps. The rushing intelligentsia, which cannot be determined in any way: for the reds or for the whites. You can’t even close these accounts in the accounting department to the “payment sent” button. Otherwise, “Oy” can say the whole company.
Such people need to be planted only in the area where edits can be made endlessly: to develop all kinds of regulations there and the like. Judging by the experience of our company and by the frequency of turnover of these regulations - we are just the ones who sit on their development.
Fanatic
Do you see that? In a blue shirt and blue tie? Who stared at the phone without blinking and frantically knocking out text with two thumbs?
This is a fanatic.
I looked over his shoulder several times. He even at dinner, even in the elevator, even, I think, sits in the toilet in the work mail and writes, writes, writes. Such people are considered ideal workers. They are always in the access zone.
The authorities love such. But in vain. See? He does not pay attention at all to the fact that he chooses how much he puts on his plate and that he pours the compote on the tray, since he did not notice that the glass is already full? With such, the whole line-up can move forward for a long time, and he, not knowing how to at least sometimes be distracted, may still remain standing still, immersed in his mobile phone and detaining everyone who stands behind him. And then you have to frantically pick up and catch up with those who have passed forward, simultaneously spilling out at the speed increased due to idle time everything that I have gathered on my tray. So at work.
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